I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
