I faked an abortion last night.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
