You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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