oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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