Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
