12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
