Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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