To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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