i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
