Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
