It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
