The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
There's always time for handjobs
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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