I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
