After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
