I like my sex mixed with concussions.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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