its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Randomize
