i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
the day after is always just damage control
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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