I'm going to jail i love you
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
