everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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