You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
