you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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