First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
