Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
