My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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