He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
where are my pants?
in the oven.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
