I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
