we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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