But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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