Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
