I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
