WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize