38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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