peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
