i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
