brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
