she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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