I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
