Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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