What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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