Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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