i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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