you would pick up someone in the library
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
