I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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