I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
