quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
