i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
