We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize