I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
So many bounce houses so little time
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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