Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
