it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
