shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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