HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
