The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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