My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
