So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize