i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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