fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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