it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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