ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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