1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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