I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
