Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
