Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
